The habit of eating cake in this country is ravaging and destroying the dreams of my generation. Sincerely speaking, cakes are not eaten in this country anymore, they are swallowed; hot, cold, big, small, leftovers, fresh, liquid and solid.


where is our share of the national cake?
where is our share of the national cake?

Cakes are synonymous with festivities and celebrations, especially wedding ceremonies and birthday parties. In most cases, the size of the cake depends on the purpose for which it is to be used. Cake for individual consumption (the type parents buy for their children) is usually small in size, while the one used during festivities is big. The size of the cake also depends on the financial buoyancy of the celebrant(s) or individuals preference, while Mr. A likes a three-step cake Mr. B may prefer a cake modeled after the Lagos national theatre.

At the end, no matter the size, color, taste, design and make of the cake. It will be sliced, chewed and ingurgitated down the throat by well wishers, friends, family members, invited and uninvited guest, accompanied by a glass of wine or bottle of mineral.

Before Nigeria got its independence in 1960, the colonial masters discovered an unusual oven in the Niger delta and started baking cakes from there. The cakes baked from this oven are supposed to be distributed among all Nigerians, but what we have seen so far has been the mass diversion, disappearance (in billions) and abundant theft of cakes. Nobody has been able to put a stop to this madness, better still, nobody is willing to end this madness, because someone somewhere wants his own unconstitutional share of the cake.

If the man from the east stole billions of cakes; the man from the west diverted trillions of cakes and another billions of cakes disappeared under the watch of the man from the south; the man from the north wants a million valid reasons why he should not eat or swallow cakes (hot and cold) while the stock last.

Born in the early 1990’s, my experience and that of my generation grew more crude and cruel as each day passes by. Before my generation are two generations; one, armed with guns and the other, with pens.

The gun generation we were told is brutal, a bitter criminal, dumb thief and insane dictator, and should give the pen generation a chance. The gun generation stole billions of cakes, exported them to foreign countries (one super power recently seized some of those cakes). Like a sweet nightmare in the year 1999, the pen generation had the chance to make things right, but it decided to queue behind a man from the gun generation because he now parades himself in “AGBADA”.

Ever since the inception of “AGBADARISM”, cakes evolved. They now have wings and fly like hell out of banks. Yes! Banks are the depository for cakes in my country, and to surprise you, millions of cakes fly out of there (banks), every second like a dream.
Some cakes now have ODESHI (a charm believed to makes things invincible), they do not need to fly, as it takes too much time to do that, they just vanish. Wow! Great evolution! Poor Nigerians (ordinary Nigerians) are allergic to cakes, so they (cakes) do not bother to appear in their (ordinary Nigerians) houses; they appear massively in the houses of the BIG MEN and the UNTOUCHABLES.

Some members of the pen generation wrote against the corruption, stealing, looting and glitch of the “ogas at the top”, but lost their pen when trucks of refined cakes started appearing in their houses. Others vanished to foreign countries when bags of cakes got delivered to their rooms. After silencing some funny fighters, the level of impunity grew astronomically, and is still growing. Our heart is with all those who fought fearlessly for our sake and the future of Nigeria, but lost their lives doing so, and all those still alive we have the insatiable desire to keep drinking from your stream of knowledge and experience.

The two generations before my generation have shown the rest of the world how dark, cruel, hellish and brutal their sense of reasoning is. I hide in shame when I look back at the stinky level of theft exhibited just yesterday and the years beyond. I do not for any reason; understand why two generations will take this great but abused nation into hell on earth.

My generation has seen nothing but a total denial of excellent, good, blessing and freedom. Those words do not exist as long as our experience is concerned. I and my generation still do not understand why a cake should be national, but since it is, a valid explanation for its monopoly by some group of individuals nick named “the Cabal” is urgently needed.

We (my generation) want the cakes of this country to start vanishing and appearing in forms of good roads, hospitals, stable electricity, schools, clean water, affordable transport system and houses. This is our share of the national cake, this is what we want. We do not want cakes disguised as sachet of salt, bags of rice, umbrellas and packs of Maggi during election campaigns.

The habit of eating cake in this country is ravaging and destroying the dreams of my generation. Sincerely speaking, cakes are not eaten in this country anymore, they are swallowed; hot, cold, big, small, leftovers, fresh, liquid and solid.

The Nigeria we dream of is one where our sisters can never be kidnapped and our brothers slaughtered massively; a Nigeria where dreams do not die; where “we no dey carry last”; where we will not be tagged as corrupt or potential terrorist outside our country and a Nigeria were the stream of creativity swells.

A Nigeria where our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, relatives and friends will no longer die from curable diseases; where government officials no longer go abroad for medical checkups; where students will have no reason to protest, as school fees will not be climbing mountain Kilimanjaro. Our dream is of a Nigeria where ASUU and its allies will be known for their innovations, rather than the present quest to be the only union that goes on strike every year; a Nigeria where immunity is no ones bodyguard; where children get quality education; where transparency, accountability and equity reigns. All these are our share of the national cake.

Where is our share of the national cake?

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e-mail: iglinson1@gmail.com



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